Inspired by Travis’s review on The Movie Encyclopedia I shall write what I think happened, that fateful day, when Zack Snyder approached the studio with Sucker Punch…
ZS: No idea.
S: Okay. 300 and Watchmen made money. Lots of money – why?
ZS: The fighting?
S: Thats one thing. Fighting. We’ll keep that.
ZS: A profound story?
S: Yeah, Watchmen was profound… but, if anything, that was your problem. Too much to cover on such a small palette. It did look stylised …
ZS: Okay. Colour. Stylised. Got it.
S: 300 is exceptionally popular in the gay market – big, strong, topless men fighting… maybe target the film specifically to the gay market? “Zack Snyder directs Romans in Relationships”…
ZS: I’m not directing that! My fan base is teenage boys – who like girls –
S: Girls. Ye-e-e-s. Girls… I have it “Zack Snyder directs Roman Girls in Relationships…
ZS: That would be pretty boring – in Rome women really didn’t have so much power.
S: Then scrap Rome. Replace Ancient Rome with something else… y’know that Chris Nolan created a good film about dreams…
S: I got it! Girls in Dreams and fighting… lots. Make it stylised Zack.
ZS: Can I make it profound?
S: You know you can’t do that.
ZS: But I will try hard not to make it convuluted and, as I’m writing it –
S: Woah, woah, woah Zach – Have you even written anything before?
ZS: Of course I have!
S: I have not records that indic-
S: [Pause] That was Frank Miller’s story.
ZS: Tales of the Black Fre-
S: You can’t just claim that you wrote the story when all you did was adapt the script. A ‘short’ script in one case and a feature-script that, lets be honest, was not the reason people watched the film in the first place. 300 was marketed as ‘From the creator of Sin City‘ not ‘written by the director. C’mon Zack.
ZS: But I learnt from them. Please please please.
S: How can we guarantee you won’t get, y’know, mixed-up and unclear?
ZS: I’ll make the girl wear less clothes. So its just girls, fighting, in dreams in very little clothing.
S: Hot girls?